This might be one of my favorite topics because nearly every person I've ever met has fears that stop them from pursuing dreams, new challenges, and opportunities. If you are reading this and telling me you have no fears, I think it's time you get really honest with yourself. Really. Sit down and think about what makes you human.
Last December I told myself, "2018 will be the year I move past my fears and go all in."
Well, here we are, nearly one year later, and if I'm being truly honest with you, I let my fears win. Why? I got scared. Fear froze me. I let the opinions, judgement and every other outside factor influence me. With that being said, 2018 was still an incredible year. Saying I froze in fear means in no way that I didn't pursue new things, take on new projects, grow my business, and be grateful for everything I have. It just means that a lot of the things I thought I was going to do ended up sidelined because, well, I thought I would fail, so it's better to just push them aside. Right?
WRONG! Why I share this, is because I think it is so important to be fully transparent and open about the journey as an entrepreneur, mom, wife, and person who is continually trying to figure out life. I often hear people say, "Well, I'm not like you Becky" or "Everything you touch is gold." Ha! Do you know how many times I've failed? Do you hear the internal battles and struggles I have with myself? If you did, you'd probably think I was crazy. Like serious, absolutely, CRAZY! :-) As we approach the end of 2018, I find myself thinking ahead to 2019. I am vowing to make 2019 my year. What does that even mean? It means that despite overthinking, worrying about the opinions of others, and having a fear of failure, it's time to step out in faith and take on the things that I have let hold me back in the past.
"Despite overthinking, worrying about the opinions of others, and having a fear of failure, it's time to step out in faith and take on the things that I've let hold me back in the past."
How do you step out in faith and pursue the things that scare you? As I have thought a lot lately about my goals and purpose, here's the list that I created.
1. Nothing is as scary as it seems at first.
Often as we are preparing for a big change or specific activity, we let fear take over. We are terrified because we overthink everything. We start to wonder why we said yes, we think of the worst possible scenarios, and honestly, we begin thinking that we're crazy and it's better to quit now. If you're anything like me, you can be a bit of a drama queen and your brain and you have ongoing battles....and I like to think that I'm just stubborn enough that I'll usually end up doing something despite the fear I have beforehand. But it certainly doesn't mean that it's easy. What I have found, however, is that saying yes despite the fear usually provides me with the best experiences, people, opportunities, outcomes, and adventures that I would've missed out on if I said no.
There is an amazing video where Will Smith addresses fear while skydiving. Watch it here. He says, "God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear." So good.
2. Fear Means Growth
We've all heard the term "growing pains." Why do you think we've got that phrase embedded in our head? Growth means getting uncomfortable. It means challenge. It means pushing through difficulty. No one loves to get uncomfortable or engage in the unfamiliar. But you have to remember that the challenge and messiness associated with growth will reward you greatly. You have to start with yes and keep in mind that resistance, growing pains and the unknown aren't a bad thing. Knowing that you are going to encounter these challenges and you'll develop new skills, abilities, knowledge, etc. will prepare you to show up and embrace the growth.
3. Action Eliminates Fear I have found that the more I think about something, I because frozen and never do anything about it. I call it perfection paralysis. I was talking to my daughter's dance teacher about it the other day. I told her that there were so many things I wished I had pursued when I was younger - that I absolutely love - but I was so worried about failing or not being perfect that I froze rather than taking action to pursue it. The only cure for fear is action and taking a step forward!
The only cure for fear is action and taking a step forward.
4. Be Grateful and Positive
You've heard me speak of gratitude and positivity before, probably on multiple occasions. One of the best ways I've found to overcome my fears is to "flip the switch" and focus on being positive and grateful that I'm faced with the obstacle/opportunity/challenge/thing that is causing me fear. One of the best ways to do this is to be grateful for the outcome that will occur on the other side of what you are fearing. For example, if you fear public speaking but you know once you do it you'll have more opportunities to influence, say yes. What you'll gain on the other side will be far greater than the fear itself. 5. Get Clear Of Your Purpose
When you get very clear about your purpose it is easy to eliminate those negative feelings because you are doing what you must do in order to fulfill your destiny. To be clear, but using the worst must doesn't mean a negative obligation. Rather, you want to pursue those things despite fear because you know the outcome will have greater impact and purpose.
6. Be Gentle With Yourself & Just Breathe
No matter what, just remember that you are human and fear is a natural response. Be gentle with yourself, choose bravery, and be kind to yourself. We tend to be hardest on ourselves and begin to sabotage opportunity because we bully ourselves. We tell ourselves we'll fail, we tell ourselves we're not good enough, and be choose to stay comfortable. Be gentle, be courageous, and take a deep breath to release that negative energy that you've built up inside. Breathing is powerful and cane help you overcome the fear you are building up internally.
I hope this helps as you think about your goals and dreams for the remainder of 2018 and into 2019. Becky
Book recommendation: I love the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown as it helped me overcome a lot of the fear that was holding me back in business and personal situations.
I am an affiliate marketer and blogger that receives compensation from the companies who products I review or share online. This blog is independently owned and the opinions expressed here are my own.